To some people, I may seem decisive. To others, they’ve probably never seen me set down a firm decision. Always yielding to the people around me, whether it be the cuisine for a dinner out with friends or a subject matter I didn’t know much about or have experience with. I wasn’t born decisive. And quite frankly, I don’t think anyone was. Either way, I’ve learned some things through the many decisions I have and have not made.
First off, not every right decision will lead to happiness. At least, not immediately. That must be accepted first and foremost. If you think the right answer and happiness are synonymous, you might have been making the wrong decision all along. Take breakups for example, I doubt they’re easy for either partner, but the decision was made probably for the better. Your heart will catch up to your decision, just not instantaneously.
Something else I’ve learned is that information will always be the North Star in the decision making process. Even if it’s an emotional decision, it’s grounding to have some sort of fact to connect your brain to whatever is going on in your heart. The hormonal and the logical will balance out when the right decision is made.
I want to clarify that being indecisive does not mean not having a backbone, and vice versa. But it also can be said, that you can have or be without both. This one, I do not have personal experience with. However, I have watched other’s struggle with indecisiveness and kindness to the point of fault.
Surviving in this world is simple: food, water, air, and sleep. Thriving in this world and being happy requires more. You can’t yield to everyone or everything. Being nice does not mean falling for what others say. Being nice does not mean someone’s problems are worse. Being nice does not mean letting yourself be unhappy because someone else needs you more. Being nice means treating people with respect; the same respect you want to be treated with. Being nice is taking an interest and asking the questions you want to be asked. Being nice is standing by a friend; a friend who is just as nice to you.
Just as there are people who are nice to a fault, there are people who are opportunistic to a fault. Or in a less euphemistic way, bratty personalities; spoiled characters that require the attention. These are the people who lead decisions and take advantage of those without the spine. And these you should be wary of.
If you’re saying or thinking false justification lines like “It’s only for right now, it will pass,” until it happens again or “they just don’t fully understand,” although you’ve explained it time and time again in various different forms and volumes. Then you’re in denial and you know you’re in denial. Imagine this article as your best friend slapping you awake. These lines are tiresome and old and it’s time to change your game.
If you’re in an intimate relationship with this person, please make decisions about what you want. Make the decision for you, not for anyone else. The decision for you is what leads to happiness. If you’re in a platonic relationship with this person, remember that any person can be kept at any length and you hold the key to the power of you. Listen to your heart, listen to your brain, and find the right decision for you, then happiness will follow.
I don’t think I can say the following statement enough, but being nice or indecisive or both does not lower your IQ. Even if you’ve never studied any subject in your life, you are an expert in yourself. Don’t let someone take advantage of you, whether it be what to eat for dinner or whether to stay in the relationship.