10 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Feminist

Take a cue from feminist Ryan Gosling… please.

Let’s be honest – the word “feminist” freaks people out.

It’s often associated with radicalism and hostility. But my generation (’90s kids, All Growed Up) is changing that stereotype by broadening the definition of “feminist” to include pink-sparkle-loving fashionistas who can explain to you the theoretical roots of feminist theory over dinner, then dance to Katy Perry‘s “California Gurls” at the club the same night.

I’m not saying feminism is never radical, or even that it shouldn’t be. But lots of women who embrace the label have learned to reconcile it with the possibly-contradictory aspects of social life — especially dating.

Still nervously wondering what she’s really thinking? Here’s a cheat-sheet of ways to win over the foxy feminist in your life.

10. “Feminist” doesn’t mean “Hillary Clinton.” Quit picturing me in a pantsuit. Rest assured; there’s a 0% chance I’ll ever own one.

9. There’s a difference between feminism, the theory, and feminists, the people. So don’t you dare call me out on it when I’m reading radical girl-power publication B*tch Magazine while whining about my bad hair day. I’m allowed.

8. If you look nervous when I joke that I can only make mac-and-cheese, I’m suspicious.

7. And if your follow-up question is about kids, this is probably our last date, because you just freaked me out.

6. Whomever is closer to the door can open it. And, no, I’m not secretly thinking that “chivalry is dead.”

5. When I say I want to split the tab, I mean it. I don’t want to owe you anything. Respect that.

4. Rule #5 doesn’t apply on my birthday. That’s my day to be a princess or a Kardashian or whatever.

3. Bonus points to the date who doesn’t act mortally embarrassed by splitting the check. Security is sexy.

2. Playing hard-to-get is just a lame power move, and I’m not impressed. Be upfront about your intentions and I’ll do the same for you.

1. No matter my theoretical stance on high heels and skirts, I put these on to impress you. Notice. (Yes, out loud.)

Standard rules also apply. Go put on a sweater and practice your charming half-smile or whatever it is you do before a date. Best of luck!

Questions? Suggestions? Need a venting session?
Email me: isenhart.rebecca@gmail.com
Tweet at me: @rebeccaisenhart

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